Tears in my eyes, I laid face down on the treatment table for my physical therapist to work on my neck and shoulder. Almost two weeks post neck surgery and I wasn’t feeling much better - in fact I felt worse. My hand still wasn’t functioning, I wasn’t sure how to lay down to sleep, and I feared the surgery wasn’t going to resolve my pain.
As she began our normal treatment process, she spoke gently, but firm.
“You are not fragile.”
And the tears began to fall.
Fragile. Fearful. Helpless.
She could sense all of it.
In my posture and tone, I carried worry, grief, and disconnection from my own strength.
Those four words caused me to crumble in a way I didn’t expect. Because logically I never identified with the word fragile. Yet mentally and emotionally, I realized the nature of my approach to life over the past few months. I was living in a state of fragility and fear.
The context of my life had caused me to retreat in fear of the unknown. This crumbling realization allowed me to face the belief system beneath my fear.
And as I’ve engaged with some of these beliefs:
- I don’t know enough
- I am weak and broken
- I am afraid of being wrong
I’ve gained awareness and clarity in ambivalence.
Acknowledging that I can be BOTH -
- knowledgeable and still learning
- weak and consistently building strength
- confident and moving through fears
This awareness has given me the freedom to ACCEPT where I am TODAY as enough.
And that acceptance isn’t complacent. Acceptance offers comfort. While I do not identify as fragile, the tender compassion of acceptance creates space for confidence.
To be ambivalent is human nature.
To notice internal conflict is to create awareness.
To hold space for ambivalence with curiosity allows growth.
This kind of growth creates change towards who you are becoming.
And I’m creating a new coaching experience to facilitate this process.
It integrates becoming with health and wellness intention, while acknowledging and honoring who you are. It isn’t knowledge to be acquired; it is integration of whole body wellness with the context of your life.
I'd love to hear your perspective. Please check out this 2-minute survey
Your feedback will help shape this coaching experience to support those in pursuit of sustainable whole body wellness.
Nourishment
As we get into warmer months, our family LOVES smoothies and smoothie bowls for breakfast or snacks. They are a simple way to pack in nutrients.
This is one of my favorites - GREEN HULK!
Spinach: fiber, iron, calcium, and vitamins A, C, and K
Coconut Water: natural electrolytes like potassium, magnesium, and calcium Frozen mango: vitamin C, potassium, and FLAVOR!
Avocado: healthy fats supporting vitamin absorption
Peaches: FLAVOR and texture, plus vitamins C, A and potassium
Milled Flax seeds: fiber, omega-3s, prebiotics, healthy fat, protein
Chia: iron, calcium, magnesium, healthy fat
Vanilla Protein Powder: Ancient Nutrition Multi Collagen to boost morning protein
Smoothies are flexible, and that’s one way I always get a win with my kids! Throw in some greek yogurt and/or peanut butter with frozen berries, and you’ve got a winner. The benefits come in the small add-ins like chia, milled flax, powerful veggies, and granola.
What’s your favorite smoothie recipe? Reply and share! We love to try them all!
Movement
If you missed it, here's the live workout from last month!
Energy Boost - Standing Workout!
Here’s my 3 main sets from last week as I focus on rebuilding strength:
If you've got questions on my chicken scratch, reply and ask away!
I’ve found SO much joy this month in my strength workouts with MUSIC! I’ve been revisiting some of my favorites from the early 2000s and just dancing it out between sets. It carries into the rest of my day in the best possible way!
What music do you like to move to?
Send me your favorite playlist and I’ll share mine!
Well, Reader, it’s the middle of 2026.
What ambivalence do you feel?
Who are you becoming?
I look forward to hearing from you!
Cheers to holding space for ambivalence,
